Players in every sport struggle to have balance between their personality and their ability. As many sports have found, their "greatest" athletes tend to be a bit lacking the area of personal relations, especially with opponents and fans. This is the by product of a "winning mentality" if it goes uncluttered.
How it happens is that leading players in any sport execute several drills to achieve extreme levels of performance. They repeat these until they become habit. First, they "dehumanize" their opponent and the game so that both may appear less threatening. This allows the player to focus more on the task at hand, which is to perform their best.
Once a player has focused only on their goal, and nothing else, they usually move on to greater performances. This not only increases their confidence, but also more importantly, plants the seed for a superior self-image. Many players us "self talk" to elevate their game. These "talks" include sentences that aid with their performance, but can devastate how an opponent, fan or other individual perceives this player as a person.
During these speeches that a player give himself/herself, they might say, "You're the best player" or " You can crush this guy" or "This guy isn't even in your league. You are better than he is". Suddenly, the self-talk is turned from a simple pep rally into an evaluation of personal matter and worth. The player has everything he needs to elevate himself as a better person. He plays, he wins, he gets paid, and everyone says he is better than his opponent, including himself. What conclusion can he come to?
Several things are clearer to someone looking in on the situation from the outside.
- This is just a game
- Your worth as a person has nothing to do with your ability to win matches, whether you win or lose.
- Chances are, you're not going to be the best professional in the world. Even if you were the best, the real money in a sport is in the endorsements, and they do not give large amounts of money to champions who do not have a near perfect balance and harmony within themselves.
To create this balance, your self-talk should include more positive phrases such as I'm a better player than this person, or "I'm going to win this match, because I'm playing well". Also you might add, "My personal worth is independent of my ability to play pool", and "I want to win, but I will respect my opponent in the process." These phrases may sound funny, but they can help balance an individual as a good player as well as a good person.
As the sport continues to grow, many players will pass through. Some will leave their "mark" on the game and the people who play and watch. To be one of those few, you'll have to stand out from the crowd. It's easy to be rude and ignorant, and disrespect everyone around you, but I firmly believe that it's not the path to greatness.
Choose the less traveled, respect the game and everyone around you, and you will reap the rewards. Remember, you only get out of it what you put into it.